Do you ever wonder where that inner voice in your head comes from? The one that keeps reminding you that you are not good enough? Do you feel like you always give life your best, you work hard and sacrifice yourself for others, but still can’t give yourself credit? Are you constantly berating yourself and feeling like you do not measure up and that somehow you should be more, do better, and achieve more?
According to psychology, this is not a feeling, but rather a THOUGHT. The source of this thought is usually our inner critic. Even though the inner critic can be cruel, it actually doesn’t have ill intentions. Counter-intuitive as it may sound, your inner critic is trying to protect you. The inner critic is afraid of our survival. So when it is telling us we are not good enough, it is often trying to motivate us so that we survive.
Honestly, you can’t criticize yourself for a better version of yourself. We all have bad days and moments of self-doubt. Sometimes the pressure comes from peers, family, work, and society in general, and it is enough to make us feel completely broken inside. If we don’t have the “right” job, relationship, lifestyle, etc, within a certain time frame, we assume we’re just “not good enough.”.
If you need some extra inspiration, here are 9 good reminders when you’re feeling “not good enough”:
1. Connect, do not compare: Comparison is the thief of all joy. We get so caught up comparing our own behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight moments. That is the reason why we sometimes struggle with insecurities. Remember that YOU are walking your own path.
2. Talk to your inner critic: Your inner critic is made up of negative self-talk that you have heard over your lifetime and have internalized as truth. According to psychology, that little negative voice in your head actually has good intentions. It wants to protect you and keep you out of danger but has a negative way of going about it. Retrain your inner critic so it shifts into a coach that can challenge you, without putting you down.
3. Your scars are a symbol of your strength: A scar is like a beautiful reminder that you are stronger than your wounds. It means that whatever hurt you have healed and is now closed up. Be proud of the scars that life has left you with. They mean that you conquered the pain, you grew stronger, and you are still here. You may not be able to make your scars disappear, but you can adjust the light in which you view them. They are an indication of your strength despite the pain. Accept them, and appreciate the lessons you learned from them.
4. You are always good enough: There is a psychological phenomenon known as The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. We always perform in a way that is aligned with the way we see ourselves. And so, our thinking creates our results. And the less we value ourselves and our powers, the less power we have access to. The reverse is also true, the more we value ourselves, the more power we have. You are always good enough. You need to think it and believe it. YOU ARE ALWAYS GOOD ENOUGH.
5. Failures are necessary for life: Failure, as much as it hurts, is an important part of life. Failure is necessary for us to be capable of compassion, empathy, kindness, and great achievement; we would be less likely to reach for the moon and the stars. It’s through failure that we learn the greatest lessons that life could teach us. Failure forges greatness. The failures that we all experience in life are what allow us to appreciate our successes. Failure provides context for even the most picture-perfect life.
6. Everything is coming together for your own benefit: People who believe in the law of attraction also emphasize that everything that happens in the Universe, happens for your own benefit. This belief has served me well. Even when things seem tough, it helps to remember that it is all happening FOR me and not against me.
7. You do not need everyone’s approval, just your own: You are your longest relationship. The one person you have been with from the beginning of time and will be with until the end of time is you. Start listening more to who you are and less to what the world says you should be, want, or do. You are enough. With all your flaws and imperfections, you are enough. You are not loved for what you do. You are loved for who you are. Having good personal boundaries is an effective way of loving and taking care of yourself. Stop seeking validation and approval from others. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.
8. Never Give Up: Especially on yourself. Never give up on yourself. Keep trying. What seemed impossible yesterday could be possible today. During your journey, you are developing the necessary skills and resilience to open the doors for the opportunities you need to lead you to your destiny. Keep trying, and giving your best. You can achieve anything, depending on how much you really want it.
9. Love and accept yourself, unconditionally: Relinquish all your feelings of not being good enough to be great and renounce all slavery to your weakness. Stop focusing on your deficiencies and instead celebrate your amazing qualities. Just think about it: there’s no person on the planet today who has the unique stack of gifts that you have. Actually, in all of history, there’s never been even one person exactly like you. And there never will be.
Embrace the full force of your lavish talent, luminous strengths, and breathtaking powers. And always remember, you are enough. You are good enough. Remind yourself every time you catch yourself being negative towards yourself. Trust the process.