Things happen throughout the course of our lives that we simply have no control over. Whether it is a serious illness, the loss of someone, or losing something that means the world to us. There are also things that happen that you are solely responsible for: that you are ashamed of and wish you could take back, but you can’t. And all of that stress, pain, and resentment can be a heavy burden on your shoulders. Even though you can’t change your past to make the present better, you can make a change to brighten your future.
While talking about acceptance is far easier than actually getting down to doing it, it’s still a reality. It’s still something that needs to be absorbed and dealt with.
It becomes far more difficult to accept people and situations the way they are when we are able to see a different way of being. When we are able to see the “potential” of them being different and that difference is in alignment with what we would like them to ideally be.
It hits hard. It starts breaking you down into a million pieces because accepting them for who or what they are also means letting go of your own wants and desires.
That’s what makes acceptance tough. That’s why we want to run away from it. Yet, at times, needs to be done.
And when we begin to look at what we have to accept, we also open doors to let go.
So how do we accept? How do we make the pain go away?
Why Is Acceptance So Important?
There are three main reasons it is good to accept things as they are.
1. Trying to change reality is a battle you’re guaranteed to lose. It leads to feelings of bitterness, anger, and sadness.
2. Acceptance allows you to recognize and face the actual problem. This can allow for problem-solving. For example, if you’re unhappy in your career, it’s impossible to make any changes before you face the reality of your current situation. Denying reality prevents you from problem-solving and may lead to more serious consequences — in this example, further years of career dissatisfaction.
3. Accepting things as they are leading us toward a sense of peace and calm. It is normal to feel angry, sad, or disappointed when you first acknowledge that you have no control over a difficult situation. However, acceptance will help you eventually feel lighter — as if a burden has been removed.
How to Accept Things As They Are
- Notice when you are trying to change or deny things that can’t be changed. For some people, warning signs include thoughts like This is unfair, It shouldn’t be this way! or Why me? For others, warning signs tend to be emotions like anger or frustration.
- Remind yourself that “it is what it is” and there is nothing you can do to change it right now. Depending on the situation, you may need to do these multiple times a day/hour/minute.
- Allow yourself to feel sad and disappointed; these feelings are healthy! At the same time, trust that acceptance will eventually bring you peace and calm.
- Seek out social support. Engage in self-care activities to help you cope with difficult feelings and improve your mood.
Remember: accepting things as they do, does not mean that you have to enjoy what’s happening. It also does not mean that you are giving up. It simply means that you acknowledge that you don’t have control over the situation, and it is what it is.
You must accept the situation that you are in. You must be able to reassure yourself that everything in life happens for a reason. Whatever burden you are facing isn’t accidental. You have to simply look at it as an opportunity for a new beginning. You are still capable of doing great things in life, but you have to accept your past and build on it.