Ask a psychologist: How do I improve my self-confidence?

First things first, we need to acknowledge the fact that everyone is unique, and each one’s journey & goals are unique to them. Comparing your journey and goals with someone else is like expecting a fish to climb a tree.

So, what can we do to focus on ourselves and improve our self-confidence?

1. Recognize and focus on our strengths and build on them. 
2. Take small steps and set realistic goals we can achieve which will increase our confidence and motivate us to eventually reach larger goals.
3. Avoid comparison with others and focus and appreciate our own achievements and strengths, which does not mean that we cannot learn a new skill. By inculcating a Growth mindset, we can learn from our mistakes/challenges or others, become wiser and grow and adapt new skills and broaden our pool of achievements.
4. Stop looking for external validation for our achievement. The outcome can never be to our liking as we cannot control the external factors, but we can control and manage our internal environment including our negative and limiting self-talk, thoughts, feelings, and behavior. 
5. Be more kind and compassionate towards ourselves and treat us as we would our best friend. It is perfectly fine to make mistakes and be wrong at times. Nobody is perfect.
6. Make a list of all the things we can be proud of in our lives, no matter how small they may be. Keep adding to that list and create an inventory of all achievements and skills. Whenever we are low in confidence, it really helps to look at our inventory and remind ourselves of all the awesome things we have done.
7. It is ok to ask for help from others if we are stuck somewhere. That does not make us weak or incapable. Everyone is endowed with special and unique strengths/talents and learning from other’s expertise and wisdom is a great way to improve and increase our skillset and confidence.

At Anantam, we offer 1:1 individual counseling and guidance to equip the client with tools to cope with stress, interpersonal issues, grief, anxiety, mood disturbances, trauma, anger issues, low self-confidence, and low self-esteem, etc. through the process of counseling.

Call/WhatsApp Ms. Seema Agarwal: +91 98205 76682

You can also interact with her on Quora where she shares her thoughts and views on different topics.